Drunk On You
by DoubleMMia
Summary: Where Shepard is drunk, Miranda is angry and Kasumi is unhelpful. FemShepard/Miranda fluff fluff fluff. And some more fluff. FEMSLASH


**Drunk (On You)**

Shepard honestly hadn't expected herself to get so drunk in such a short amount of time - or what felt like a short amount of time, although the sounds of Jack yelling up from engineering that some people were trying to sleep told her an entirely different story - with such little alcohol that when she did manage to stumble out of Kasumi's room she laughed heartily at the silliness that wrapped its arms around her.

Kasumi followed her out soon afterwards, folding her arms around her shoulder and nudging her towards the direction of Miranda's office with her own giggles stifling the silence.

"I told you to drink two Shep! Not five!" Kasumi murmured in her ear once again as they edged closer and closer towards Shepard's XO's room slash office. "Now you're so drunk you're actually stumbling over my feet!"

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Shepard mumbled in apology as she once more started to stumble over and on Kasumi's feet before she could stop herself. "I dunno what's come over me Kas!"

Kasumi chuckled and curled her free hand into a fist, ready to knock politely at Miranda's office door; knowing that if she didn't then it would probably sour the ex-Cerberus Operative's mood even more at being awakened at such a time by herself and drunker-than-a-skunk Shepard.

"Where are we going now?" Shepard slurred with a hiccup accompanying her garbled sentence, resting her forehead on Kasumi's shoulder with a sigh. Her head ached and all she wanted right now was something to snuggle up to - or a certain _someone._

"To go see if you're allowed to still sleep with Miranda tonight," Kasumi explained with a sympathetic pat to Shepard's head. "I'm sure she told me not to get you drunk but you know how I blank out whenever Miranda talks to me…"

Shepard nodded with barely-opened eyes, blanking out when Kasumi started to mumble on about whatever Miranda had promised her not to do and - oh wait. Miranda! MIRANDA!

"I LOVE Miranda!" Shepard yelled all of a sudden with a little drunken cheer, startling Kasumi so much they both almost fell back when Kasumi almost lost her balance; this little incident doing nothing but causing Shepard to laugh even louder than she had been before.

"I know Shep! I know! You're going to go see her now, alright?" Kasumi hissed through her bared teeth, banging her knuckles loudly on Miranda's door in hope it would be loud enough that Miranda would come and rescue her because as lovely as Shepard was…

Kasumi really didn't appreciate being drunkenly slobbered over by Shepard's ridiculous drooling that only ever occurred when Shep was absolutely wasted with the no chance of returning for a good few hours.

"Miss Lawson has granted you access to come into her personal quarters." EDI's synchronized voice filled the hall mere moments after Kasumi had stopped her banging on Miranda's door. "However she has advised you that if this is not good then her intentions would be…unpleasant."

Shepard cringed and snuggled further onto Kasumi's shoulder, wishing that it was Miranda's so she could slobber and drool without being swatted over the head too hard (because Miranda was obscenely nice when they were alone and Shepard was too drunk to actually care where she lay, be it on the floor or Miranda's rather hard-as-rock chair) and kissed and hugged and snuggled.

Kasumi sighed and gestured for the doors to open with a wave of her hand, chuckling nervously when the doors of Miranda's office opened with a _swoosh_ noise that made Shepard whimper into her shoulder even more to temporary cradle her head.

Then her eyes landed on Miranda and it was so instant that Shepard completely ignored the look of anger on her XO's face and rushed towards her; ending up stumbling over Miranda's chair and landing a few feet away from her lover's desk with a drunken snort.

Kasumi flinched at the sight of Shepard sprawled on the floor and went to help her Commander up, only pausing when Miranda stopped her with the iciest glare to ever exist _ever_.

"I told you to make sure she didn't get drunk Kasumi," Miranda said in that slow 'I-am-pissed-off' voice that made Kasumi feel as though she was going to die a very horrible death. "And yet I have a drunken Shepard on my floor."

Kasumi closed her mouth as Miranda got up from her desk with the clickity click of her heels, watching intently as Shepard slowly stirred and garbled nonsense at seeing her XO coming towards her.

"I'll just be going…" Kasumi murmured and before Miranda could do anything considered murderous she bolted away from Shepard's XO's quarters with a girlish squeal. Jack be damned!

Miranda watched the master thief go with a roll of her eyes. "Typical. Just damn typical."

She bended down on both of her knees and reached out an arm to stroke through Shepard's spiky, blonde locks with a shake of her head; leaning over soon after to press a kiss at the exposed nape of Shepard's neck.

"What am I going to do with you?"

Shepard made a keening sound at the very back of her throat and turned her head to blink blearily up at Miranda.

"Ravish me?" She suggested with a pout, nudging Miranda's knee with her forehead and another little whimper.

Miranda half-smiled in reply and cupped her Commander's cheeks in the palms of her hands, bringing Shepard's face up as gently as she could to rest on her lap and caressing the blonde's cheeks with soft strokes that caused Shepard to smile in a dazed fashion.

"I'm drunk." Shepard mumbled with a smile gracing her lips and another deep chuckle that sounded so hollow it brought about another kiss from Miranda Lawson, however this time on the hollow of her very neck. "And I'm soooooooo happy as well. Kasumi read me poems. Romantic ones."

Miranda started to feel the horrible emotion named jealousy creep up on her before she could even attempt to reason with herself, yet before she could comment on it Shepard gave her another pouty expression that transfixed Miranda's gaze onto her commander.

"Why don't you read me romantic poems?" Shepard murmured grumpily with a tiny slip of her tongue escaping her mouth to lick the crevices of her lips. "Kasumi said she only reads them to me so I know what I'm missing, and she was right! I want romantic poetry read to me!"

Miranda stiffened underneath Shepard's heavy form and silently cursed that damn little thief to hell and back: of COURSE Kasumi would bring up romantic poems when SHEPARD was visiting to try and show off how GREAT of a person she was whilst placing HER (Miranda goddamn Lawson) in the light of SHAME. Of course!

"I don't need to recite love poems to you just to let you know how much I care about you," Miranda said with a little huff and an arched brow, refusing to look down at Shepard's face. "I can do that without the trickery of words thank you."

Shepard moved her face from off Miranda's lap and nudged her way under her XO's arm with a breathless laugh, ignoring the way Miranda sighed grumpily and tried to pry her off.

"Aw you're just upset that you can't think of any aren't you?" Shepard cooed into Miranda's ear, giving it a tiny kiss on the very lobe with a giggle.

Miranda gave Shepard the 'look'. "No, it's not that at all actually! I just think it's completely ridiculous how people think reciting words are somehow romantic when in truth…" Miranda paused once she caught sight of Shepard smirking up at her with that look Miranda never trusted. Ever. "What? Shepard what are you looking at me like that for?"

Shepard rubbed the pad of her thumb over Miranda's chin, pressing a kiss to her lover's lips with her cerulean eyes holding onto Miranda's icy cold cobalt hues with such mirth and delight that Miranda shuddered in desire.

"You're so cute Lawson," Shepard whispered with an adoring glint in her eyes, cocking her head to the side and smiling brightly like she had seen Miranda in a new light. "_Adorable_."

"And you're stinking drunk. And my name is Miranda!" Miranda countered before Shepard literally pounced on her, rolling them over so that Miranda was sprawled uselessly against the cold floor of her office.

Shepard slumped against Miranda's body once she had managed to trap her thighs with her legs, snuggling into the crook of Miranda's neck and sighing in pleasure. "I love you."

Miranda felt the itch of irritation leave her and with a huffy grumble she kissed the halo of gold hair that adorned Shepard's head.

"I love you too. Now come to bed if you want to be ravished."

"_Yay!_"

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><p><strong>An answer for a kink meme prompt.<strong>

**FLUFF IS FLUFF.**


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